NEW YEAR Non-RESOLUTIONS.

HAPPY NEW YEAR guys.

Every new year brings with it RESOLUTIONS. Many people try to make resolutions, which mostly dun last even for a week. I also made one, my room partner also made one, but we both know it aint going to last long.
So, instead of focusing on RESOLUTIONS, lets be sarcastic and focus on some NON-RESOLUTIONS. Lets try to figure out some NON-RESOLUTIONS of people/organisations etc of different fields.

Just remember, these are vice-versa of RESOLUTIONS...these are things we want these people to do(except for the last one) but its not going to happen for sure.

(A) NARENDRA MODI: 

1) I shall not visit any foreign country and try to discover some beautiful places of the 7th largest country of the world. 
2) I shall always condemn any illogical statements made by the most intelligent and secular ministers of my government.
3) From this year onward, I shall never try to please my mentors Amit Shah and VHP.
4) I shall push the rhetoric aside and perform.
5) I shall not only convey my "Mann ki Baat" but also listen to the mann ki baat of the 31% odd Indians who voted for my party in the elections.

(B) BJP

1) We will disassociate ourselves from the RSS.
2) We will win elections in WB, TN and Kerala where we have historically been the strongest (hahaha).
3) We shall remove all the veteran leaders who are habitual party spoilers through their truthful remarks.

(C) CONGRESS

1) We shall never look upon PAPPU as our party leader.
2) We will always support the government in crucial legislations like GST etc. and let parliament function as we have always been the most disciplined and nationalistic party and also as the parliament and constitution was built by our forefathers.
3) We will never introduce policies in the name of our popular leaders "you know who" if we ever came to power.

(D) AAP

1) As we do not fear anybody in the world, we shall never let scams like DDCA come up after our CM's office is raided.
2) We will make DELHI the cleanest place in the world just by reducing 6% pollution by our biggest intellectual achievement "odd-even rule".
3) We will bring back Kiran Bedi, Shazia Ilmi as we believe in women empowerment.

(E) ISIS

1) We will give up weapons and strive for a peaceful existence between Shias & Sunnis.
2) We shall never behead anybody from now on as we think that we need to be innovative in order to be the cynosure of terrorist activities and beheading has become a cliche.
3) We will never induct youth in our terrorist activities as we have realized that their best utilization can be made by getting them married and transferring our ideology to the next generation in even greater numbers.

(F) BHAIJAAN

1) I will open a training academy for all those convicted or being tried for culpable homicide as I have the experience of escaping punishment even after everyone in the world knows that I did it.
2) I will make peace and hug and even call on BIG BOSS, Mr. VIVEK OBEROI, and discuss all that happened between us on national television to clear the air just like i did with SRK. Waise bhi, jiski wajah se panga hua wo to alag hi mauj kaat rahi hai.
3) I will never make a film that can earn 400 crores as that makes DILWALE's turn into DILJALE's.

(G) USA 

1) We will admit that all the ills in the world have been caused by us be it pollution, taliban, nuclear bomb, kuttapanti etc and payback in terms of the easiest way possible for the most powerful nation of the world i.e. MONEY.
2) We will try not be cowards and attack ISIS.

(H) MONSOON

1) I promise that I will come on time and in abundance this year.
2) No one will die of hunger or will commit suicide because of me.

(I) INDIA

1) We the people will always litter in the open as we enjoy it the most.
2) We will never ever treat women with equality as our forefathers have taught us to behave in this way.
3) We will try to focus on our short term problems and never bother about nation building.
4) We will continue to rape and allow non secular people to influence us and commit crimes like that of DADRI.

       Try to read these things in a funny sense except for the last which concerns our nation. I hope u enjoyed reading it.

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